I feel like I have so much I want to say, but I don’t know what it is. A simple “I am so sad right now” doesn’t seem enough, but it’s all that I can really seem to type. I’ve never been shy about my mental health, my problems, but sometimes it’s so scary to share that part of me with others.

I’d been doing so well the past couple of months, which then seems to make the fall that much harder. I’ve been dusting myself off and getting back up for the past 10 or so years, you’d think that I’d be used to it by now, but I’m not. I just feel more tired.

It’s hard to put into words what i’m feeling. Depressed, obviously. A failure? Of what, i’m not sure. Life maybe. When some of the most simple tasks to people is a huge deal for me. Like catching a bus. I feel stunted in so many ways. It’s amazing how I can be so full of life at times, but so scared to live.

I know it’s just another ‘rough patch’. That it’s probably the pain i’m in making everything else life throws at me harder. But right now, I just wish I had someone that would hold me & tell me that everything will be alright in the end.

Today is not my day. You ever have one of those days when things just don’t go right. It’s not a bad day, it’s just one that you wish you spent in bed instead of doing everything else. I had to go have a CT scan on my foot, the X-Ray came back looking like it was fractured, but it wasn’t conclusive, so off to have a CT scan. My appointment was at 11:30. I got in at 1pm.

I wanted to try and take some pictures to show one of the ways I’ve been wearing the dress I got from Curvy is Beautiful (Also seen HERE), but it just didn’t work out for me. Taking photos on your own can be frustrating. Mr Frodo decided he had to stand and watch me, right in front of the camera. He wouldn’t budge.

Have to say, wearing the dress like this has been super cool for those hot days. I love that I can wrap it many ways. I also think it’d make an amazing dress to throw on over a swimming costume!

Also my hair was being mighty annoying. But I decided to share a few of the photos with you anyway, because well, today wasn’t my day, but I know we all have them. In the end, I sat down and cuddled Frodo. He’s one of those dogs that knows when someone is unwell, so he’s been very protective of me. I think he was looking at me a little like “Mum, just what do you think you are doing!?”.

I think you can see in this picture that i’ve had about 3 hours sleep in the past 24 hours! But how awesome is the print of this jacket I scored 2nd hand online for about $15. I’d also just tried on my LimeCrime lipgloss that arrived. Holy spaceballs batman, that is some amazing gloss! My roots are fading too, lavender colour just doesn’t seem to like my hair!

On another note, Sydney has been getting some pretty crazy storms. I took some footage of a storm we had the other night, it cut out our power and hit 2 of our neighbours trees and split them right down the middle. I missed Sydney storms when I was in Adelaide, they are beautifully fierce.

I’m an emotional spender, it’s true, i’ll admit it.  Excessive spending is one of the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder. In regards to some of the traits, I feel lucky that this is the one that I tend to have. Though i’d like to point out, i’m in no way a crazy excessive spender. I don’t own a credit card and I have no debts. But well, i’ve been emotional the past month and accumulated a stash of pretty things that I wanted to show off.

Ludo & Oliver Owl! Labyrinth is my all time favourite movie, when I was younger I used to think Sarah was stupid and that one day i’d marry the Goblin King. Hopefully i’m not the only one who looses hours on Etsy, but on one of those binges I stumbled across Peludossa. I snapped up a Ludo straight away! I’m going to buy a Chewbacca & Ewok over the next few months! My parents bought me home Oliver Owl (To add to my owl collection) last weekend. He’s from Windsor markets.

I’ve had a love of the UK since, hmm, around 1998. High school was the peak of this phase, I had so many things covered in the Union Jack. Some of that still pops out now and then. Mix a Union Jack, rhinestones and a bag together and it’s something I CANNOT refuse. Add to that a $10 voucher off. Come to Mummuh! I snapped this up from The Iconic. It’s by Niclaire.

The Bear Brooch is by The Triangle of Bears. I’d been eyeing her bear brooches for awhile, so when she had a half price sale I bought one. She’s based in Australia and makes some wonderful pieces. I also have a set of her leaf brooches. The ring is by Plastique & I bought it from Aussie store Emerg(in), they carry some gorgeous art & jewellery! The cat girl brooch is by one of my favourite artists Karolin Felix, check out her work, ITS AMAZING! And the badges, those badges. TEN is my Doctor. I couldn’t resist these! Another Australian seller, I bought these on the Bruce Loves You Etsy page, but you should also check out their site HERE.

A fellow fat, Australian Natalie is an amazing artist. I LOVE her work and own other postcards, stickers & a necklace by her. I love these postcards so much, i’ll be re-arranging my inspiration/happy board so I can fit them! Check out Natalies blog for more of her artwork.

So yep, that’s what I’ve snapped up! I’ve been enjoying shopping within Australia and supporting hand made craft items.

What was the last thing you bought?

While I love having the purple hair, I always feel like pink in my ‘natural’ colour. I decided I needed a little bit of a change, so I went on ebay to look around at what other hair dyes were available. I have a mixture of different brands I use. Fudge, Manic Panic & Special Effects are my main go to for bright colours.  This time, I went for a new brand!

La Riche Directions! It’s always a little nerve racking trying a new dye. I’d heard good things about the brand, but i’m so used to the other brands I use, it’s like starting a new relationship. Luckily as you can see, we are getting along well. I picked mine up on ebay from the UK, each tub was about $6 including postage. The 2 stores i’ve found that had it in Australia both wanted over $20 (not including postage!). Thanks ebay!

I’ve been wanting to try rainbow hair, but while I collect up all the colours needed, I thought i’d try 4 different ones to see how I go with the dying process. I’ve only ever done 3 colours max before. The bottom layer is Neon Blue, followed by Lagoon Blue. The top layer goes from lavender at my roots to flamingo pink.

The dye seems good so far, it’s been a week and i’ve washed it twice and I haven’t lost too much colour. I found this colour runs when you apply it more then other dyes, but as long as you are aware of that, it’s not much of a problem.

I’m super happy with how it turned out! What do you think!?

As I mention previously, I signed up to Bellabox (I’ve also since signed up for I love this Box), so I could trial some samples for new brands. I am a beauty school drop out, and I’ve been in desperate need to replace* so many of my old favourites.

I posted most of my favourites in the “What’s in my make up bag” post, but I thought i’d go through and show some of the things that are on my lust worthy “to buy when I can afford them” list. Some of these items aren’t too expensive, but a few come from overseas and shipping can be rather annoying, so it’s easier to buy in larger lots.

1. INVISIBLE ZINK FOUNDATION – Light - $42 au – As I mentioned, I saw this foundation in action on Dani  it was pretty amazing, she gave it a good review and when I finally found it in store (Myer) tried it on and loved it.
2. GIRL MEETS PEARL – Benefit – $30 us – A soft golden-pink pearlessence highlighter. I’ve been on a highlighter kick as of late, so you’ll notice a few highlighters here.
3. 3 IN 1 PRIMER – Face of Australia – $11.95 au – I’ve currently been using the sample of primer I have from Napolen Peredis, but my normal primer I use is FOA Face Base. I’m really interested in trying out the 3 in 1 primer. I rather like FAO because they are within my budget and usually have pretty good quality.
4. FULL METAL LIPLINER - Inglot – $22 au – In 860 & 856. I’m in desperate need of lipliner. Actually, I have one pink lipliner and that is officially dead.
5. SHADOW LINER – Bloom – $25 au – I love products that can work more then one way. This can be used as either an eyeliner or eye shadow! Wanted in colours: Electric Blue, Midnight Blue & Charcoal Grey.
6. ADIC I-DIVINE PALETTE – Sleek – $10 us – I have a love of bright make up and I only have one small palette at the moment. This one just really tickles my fancy. Look at the colours!
7. POUT PAINT – Sleek - $8 us – I’ve not tried these, but apparently they are very similar to OCC Liptar, which I love! Colours: Mauve over, Pin up, Rosette, Port  Pinkini.
8. WATTS UP – Benefit – $30 us – A champagne coloured cream-to-powder highlighter.
9. COL.LECTA COLOUR EYE SHADOW – Bloom – $9.95 au – Amazon, Blue Mountains, Daintree & Taj Mahal will one day be mine!
10. SUGARPILL LOOSE EYESHADOW - Sugarpill – $12 us – I have 4 of their pressed foundations, but I’m really wanting to try their loose eyeshadow. Basically in every colour
11. MR. BUNNY BRUSHES – Sigma – $109 us – When I think of brushes, I think of Sigma. The Mr Bunny brush set has the essentials, plus it’s VEGAN! One of the things I like about Sigma is that you can actually build your own kit.
12. HIGH BEAM – Benefit – $26 us – With a tagline like “supermodel in a bottle”, how could I not want it!?

So, I decided, i’m not going to add EVERYTHING I want from Benefit, because basically, it’s the whole site. I’m saving up my pennies to make an order from the US site soon. (Free shipping if you spend over $135!) But check out The POREfessional, They’re Real, That Gal,  Benetint, Oh la la lift, 10, Bluff Dust & Lemon-aid. Yeah, i’m in trouble. I’ve told myself I have to narrow it down to 6. I have their Brows-a-go-go kit and swear by it!

*Make up has a shelf life. While not everyone sticks to it, I don’t like to keep a lot of my stuff for too much longer then recommended. I learnt a lot of nasty things about the health and safety of make up & I’m quite fond of my skin. For a guide on what time frame is advisable, check THIS article out.

Another one of those hot Adelaide days! I burn easily, so I always try to cover up my shoulders as that is my most troublesome area. I wish I had a picture of the back of this top though, because it has a really great cut out. Don’t worry, I’m pretty obsessive about my sunscreen!

One of the abandoned buildings in Port Adelaide.

I’ve been trying to blog just some of my ‘everyday’ outfits, I don’t get overly dressed up just to pop down the shops or go exploring. Some days, it’s more about comfort. Going to Adelaide for a fortnight, with just carry on was pretty hard for me. I could easy pack the size bag I took for a weekend. Working with a limited wardrobe was both hard and refreshing. It made getting ready a lot faster.

Sign in the right photo reads ‘Walk round corners’, you can see the lighthouse in the background too.

Sorry for the slight blurryness in some of the photos, Adams camera was being temperamental. I love Port Adelaide, it’s an area that is just so historically filled  so beautiful. While the economy has left it a little barren, it’s still so pretty! (I don’t know if it’ll still be available by the time this blog goes live, but look at this place for sale, look at the location & the price, it may just be my dream home!)

• PLAYSUIT – Best & Less (Also seen HERE)
• SHIRT – Crossroads
• BELT – ASOS Curve
• SHOES - Multifit by Diana Ferrari
• TOTE BAG – Sportsgirl

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I’ve always been a fan of Valentines day. This year, will be a little strange, this year will be my first Valentines in 6 years that I’ll be single. I figured it would also be the first Valentines in about 10 years that I wouldn’t have a Valentines, so I was super surprised when the above arrived. A rose, a card and pictures of Henry & Ginny arrived addressed to ‘Mummy’ from ‘your babies’. To be honest, I cried. It was such a super sweet gesture from Adam (my ex).

I hope you all have a great day, be it single, married or other. I treated myself to a special gift of a pair of shoes i’d been lusting over for ages!

I’ve talked about my love of A is for Arsenic before HERE, limited edition capsule collections designed by Amelia. Everything from the merch, the look books, to even the packaging is beautiful designed to perfection. Can you tell I’m a huge fan!? Her newest collection ‘taxidermia’ and mini collection ‘black heart’ both appeal to my inner goth, but the things I love about the pieces are they are the perfect combination of wearable  macabre.

I know Weekly Wishlist is usually about an array of things i’ve found from all over, but honestly, I couldn’t narrow it down to 1 or 2 items, I’ll just take one of each thanks!

You can purchase these items from the A is for Arsenic store and they range in price £15 to £90. (So around $20 – $130au)

Life has a way of throwing things at you. It seems with me, when it rains, it pours & I often wonder how much to share on my blog. First up, I have a few OOTD coming up, but they may be a little sparse for a short time. One thing you may not know about me is i’m accident prone, i’m an absolute klutz and silly me fell down a set of stairs on Wednesday night. Yep. So my left ankle is sprained and my right foot looks to be fractured. I have to have X-rays next week on my foot and wrist (also hurt) as well as about 2712308 blood tests. Oh happy days. So, as you can imagine, it’s a little hard to walk on two dud feet.

I like to think of myself as an honest person, I’m pretty straight forward and I don’t like to lie. I will talk now and then on here about my mental health, about my depression, about bits and pieces, but I try to keep things up beat. But we all have our down times, our bad weeks, the times when you just want to hide from the world.

There is so much I don’t share on my blog, but I guess that happens on all blogs. I haven’t talked about friendship, the ones i’ve lost, the ones i’ve made, the ones that have only grown stronger & the ones I miss. I haven’t talked much about how my heart has been on a roller coaster, up and down, round and round. How i’ve experienced my first major heartbreak and how much it sucks, but each day it gets easier and that after awhile you stand back up and brush yourself off.

My life is a jumble, I feel like i’m at these weird crossroads and I don’t know which way to choose. I don’t like having so many options, and I find change hard. i’ve learnt many things though. I’ve learnt to sometimes jump right in, and yes, you may get hurt, but it’s all a learning process. I’ve learnt i’m stronger than I thought, and stronger then some people thought of me. I’ve learnt who true friends are. I’ve learnt sometimes opening up to someone isn’t going to kill you.

So much has changed in the last year and I’m scared about what lies ahead, but I guess that’s perfectly normal. I guess that is life.

Sure, i’ve been back in Sydney for a week now, but I have a few OOTD posts left to show. One thing Adelaide knows how to do, is turn on the heat. A couple of the days reached over 40°c (104°f). While it doesn’t seem to get as much humidity as Sydney does, it threw in a few very muggy days. Hence the really horrid hair!

Henry cat! Did you miss seeing his gorgeous kitty face on my blog!? I did, I miss seeing him every day so much! He was super happy to have me around for the fortnight (Adam has since emailed to tell me Henry is being a total bitch for him, sorry!)

Outfit comes with added white cat hair! I picked this striped skirt up in the City Chic after Christmas sales, it’s actually a little too big on me  I plan to get it taken in, but it’s super comfy and for $20 (with the belt!) I couldn’t resist. I do love stripes!

I also splurged and had my first ever manicure! I’ve had fake nails put on a few times in the past, but that is the extent i’ve ever gone to with ‘pampering’. Nope, i’ve never been waxed, had a facial, or a massage. I thought i’d give a manicure a go, and I really enjoyed it. I don’t know what colour it is, but I do know it was China Glaze. I kind of want to try shellac now!

Of course have to have a Piggy pic! Ginny had to wear her cone a lot of the time I was around, I think I must stress her out cause she starts to lick and chew at her paw. Silly puppy! The pink bolero was another $20 CC sale score. When I walked up to the counter and placed the bolero and skirt together the lady who work there remarked that she wouldn’t have thought to put the two together, but they worked well together!

• SINGLET – K-mart
• BOLERO – City Chic – Size L
• SKIRT - City Chic – Size XL
• BELT – Came with skirt.
• SHOES – K-mart
• NECKLACE – ASOS - Now on sale!
• RINGS – Left hand – Gifts & Acrylic cupcake ring from Cupcakes & Mace. Left Thumb & Right hand – Baxi via BrandsExclusive